All I ever wanted to do was be a daddy's girl, well not ever, but you know what I mean. It's something that I really really wanted, but alas, that wasn't my story. Although my godfather is super dope and was the best example of a man to me growing up, there was still something missing, and it was my dad being an active participant in my upbringing. And having an absent dad helps a girl make not so wise choices.
When I rededicated my life to Jesus, one of the things that was required of me was to wait until marriage to have sex. I didn't obey at first and I've fallen short since making the choice to say yes. But I realized when I first made the commitment that I didn't stick to it because I didn't really trust God. Are you going to bring my husband? What if I wait and it's trash? What if I'm not attracted to the man you send? So many questions... And do you want to know why? It's because I looked at God the same way I looked at my earthly father. Most of us do this, and that can be great if you have a good dad. We look at the Lord as a reflection of our fathers and my reality is that I can't trust my dad to come through for me and I was looking at God the same way.
Not having a dad around can really screw a kid up, whether you want to admit it or not, daddy issues can lead you to making decisions that you wouldn't make if you had an active, loving father around. I made bad choices and I didn't always treat men right either. I used sex as a substitute for love. And I allowed my heart to be broken over and over again by giving myself away to men who weren't worthy of my precious gift. I created emotional and physical soul ties with men who were never destined to be my husband. I gave myself away and I did a disservice to my mind, body, soul and spirit.
So, I had to transform my thinking, I had to take scripture at its word "He will not leave me nor FORSAKE me". Essentially, the Lord will never leave me hanging. I had to stop basing my relationship with Jesus off of my relationship with Joey. I had to believe that my Father in heaven will always do what's in my best interest. I had to believe that God was giving me instruction for my protection, not for punishment. I had to trust God more than I had ever trusted any man in my life before. I had to put my life completely in His hands. And once I did I was able to heal completely of all my daddy issues.
The things that kept me from healthy relationships with men no longer travel with me. I don't hold on tight to things that don't want to stay because I know my worth and I know how bomb I am and that I'm the prize. I have a happy, peaceful, blessed life because I am healed. Because the reality is, until you heal from whatever is hindering you, you'll never progress in life. There will always be a wall and unforgiveness is one of the biggest roadblocks of them all. You cannot say that you are healed if you haven't forgiven.
I pray really hard for my husband to be amazing to me but I pray even harder for him to be amazing to our children. And I want a daughter so she can be the biggest, most annoying daddy's girl, lol, not annoying but y'all get my point. I want her to have the experience I didn't and I know the man God sends will be that for her. And I pray that she appreciates the fact that she has the best dad.
My advice to anyone who feels a way about their dad being absent is to:
1. Heal - therapy, prayer, fasting - all that.
2. Forgive, the best thing I ever did for myself was forgive my father for not being there.
3. Understand that God is your ultimate daddy and see if you're looking at Him the same way you look at your earthly dad & make the necessary adjustments.
4. Give yourself grace to get it right.
So yeah, I hope this helps anyone else who struggles with this. Heal. And go be great.
Love,
A Real Life Daddy's Girl
p.s. I have wonderful relationships with women because my mom is great.
To hear more of my story click here to purchase my book, "You're a Daughter of the King...conduct yourself as such."
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