So I was siting here chatting with my girl Erika about this August Alsina situation and not for the reasons I'm sure you're already assuming. Neither one of us are necessarily "fans" of his but we don't dislike him either - it's just like...we know who he is but, ya know? Whether or not he's telling the truth is neither here nor there. Anywho, I've watched the 3 minute clip of him talking about his relationship with Jada. I've seen the memes of Jada having the Red Table Talk with herself - all that. But I was also seeing posts of people saying that it was a clip from a SEVENTY MINUTE video...seventy whole minutes. So I listened to it... and now I'm streaming his album as I write this.
Y'all have really made an entire interview where he bared his soul, tried to hold back tears while speaking about the last moments of his sister's life, his body being suddenly stricken with illness, forgiving his mother and so much more about a brief "scandal" in his life. He was so vulnerable, open and honest in this interview about every aspect of his life and internets have dwindled it down to a tiny clip about a situation that none of us should be shocked by or even care about.
On The Intermission Podcast our new series is called "Men Are Trash" - and no, we don't believe that all men are trash. But many men (and women) can have trash-like behavior. And through our discussions with our guests and feedback from our male listeners we came to the conclusion that men have a hard time stepping away from the garbage, and you want to know why - they don't always have safe spaces. That's why. Men and women can both be trash, but we women get ourselves out of the garbage a lot sooner than men because we have so many safe spaces to lay our stuff down. This is more than being able to cry in public or show emotion. We can be vulnerable without the risk of being made fun of. We have trusted places to open our hearts without being deemed weak. Without running the risk of becoming a crying meme - unless it's the Kim K ugly cry... but I digress. Women tend to "do the work" far earlier than men, but it's due to the fact that we have the room and opportunity to do so. We have every women's group and self-help book to get us through. We have our girl tribes with spa days - so many options! But men don't. They have some, but not to the extent that women do.
Society is always screaming for men to heal from trauma, to do the work it takes to become the brothers, husbands and fathers we need in our lives. But how do we expect Black men to dig deep, do the inner-work and become the men they were created to be if we make a mockery of their vulnerability? If a man bares his soul about the trials of his life and it's diminished to a three minute clip; discounting all of the amazing ways he's making strides to be a man of integrity for his family. Actions like these will never allow men to fully come out of their shell and this term I hate, toxic masculinity, will continue to be passed down from generation to generation.
I'm a proponent for the Black family unit and Black love and I believe that Black men and women need to be the ultimate safe space for each other - in both platonic and love relationships. I will always be a soft place for my man to land which doesn't come with emasculation or disrespect but with accountability, loving correction. However, Black men need to love other Black men and be a safe space for each other because women were not created to be rehabilitation centers for them. Men need to be able to share, and express themselves fully, and grow up - through accountability with one another and mentorship. By being able to be open with their feelings and emotions. And learning how to work through them without shutting down by worrying about the backlash that may come from showing their heart.
We as a community need to do better. We need to support and uplift each other. We need to let Black men be vulnerable without the fear of being ridiculed.
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